Alayne Katz, Esq. shares a story about a collaboration between an artist and a lawyer, very possibly utilizing the same mindset and skills we do as Collaborative professionals…

The Village of Irvington started a project called the Bulldog Gallery in 2023. The bulldog is the Village mascot. Its goal was to create a walking art gallery to make art fun and accessible in the community. Businesses, civic groups and individual could sponsor a bulldog with a $1000 donation to the Village and artists submitted proposed designs. The Bulldogs are auctioned and 25% of the gross proceeds are given to the artist.

By 2024 when I sought to sponsor a Bulldog there had apparently been enough ‘difficult conversations’ between sponsors and artists that the Bulldog Committee had become the go-between and I had no direct contact with the artist. The result, quite frankly, was disappointing.  Concurrently, in June 2024 I decided to close my litigation practice, I saw the Bulldog Gallery as an opportunity to promote my vision of my practice of being the peaceful resolution of family conflict. I wanted to name it Serenity. I researched an artist named Sharon ‘Shroon’ Seidle, We had a couple of great conversations, not only about the Bulldog and art, but also about a legal issue that she had (not my specialty, but I gave her context and a referral).  We truly collaborated on the design. She was inspired by my interest and my vision while was drawn to the many facets of her work. The whole time (more than 150 hours) she created the Bulldog; she affectionately called it Alayne. As we sat on my deck overlooking the Hudson River discussing naming our Bulldog, she explained that it was ‘Alayne’ to her. I shared the story of my sister’s tragic death and that whenever I have had the opportunity to name anything, I have named it after my sister, Gail. We compromised naming her, Serenity, On June 8^th, Serenity, along with the other pups (28” Fiberglass statues) will be installed in the Village creating a community walking art gallery.

COMMITTEES

NYACP TRAINING AND EDUCATION COMMITTEE

The Training and Education Committee (T &E) develops and implements interdisciplinary programs for all professionals supporting our work in the collaborative process. This includes periodic advanced collaborative practice trainings averaging once a month from September to June every year for all professionals by non -members and members, basic collaborative divorce training for prospective new members by members annually or every other year and annual day of collaborative process training and annual meeting in December.  The committee is given a budget approved by board on an annual basis and programs are designed to enable members to achieve excellence in collaborative practice. The committee strives to provide trainings in response to membership interests and topical issues relative to our collaborative practices. Trainings take place at locations in NYC, Westchester and on Long Island, with location and platform for a particular training taking into consideration preferences of trainers, sponsors, likely attendees, cost and other factors.  The Committee meets monthly September-June on the first Thursday of the month from 12 to 1pm via Zoom. The T & E Committee has organized an advanced skills training program for our members. They have been working on presentations that will cultivate learning and best practices. Look out for announcements of upcoming sessions. Most programs will provide CLEs, CMEs. And CEUs (Sponsored by Family Kind).

MEMBERSHIP COMMITTEE

The NYACP Membership Committee is comprised of Barbara Bel, Catherine Canade, Jacqueline Caputo, Stacy Collins, Ariella Deutsch, Marcos Fernandez, Shara Goldfarb, Adam Halper, Randy Heller, Nancy Kaye, Michael Kislin, Michelle Lewis, Stephen Linker, Ellen Jancko-Baken and Teresa Ombres

The Membership Committee has Several Sub- Working Groups:

Growing the Collaborative Circle (GCC) the mission of which is to grow our relationships with other organizations outside of the NYACP that would be interested in the work we do. us. 

Our Events Working Group, the mission for which is to enhance and deepen the relationships between our own members, are responsible for putting together the holiday celebration after our annual meeting. In addition, they arrange monthly lunches on Long Island, in New York City and in Westchester for our members to get to know one another in a more intimate setting.

The Membership Committee’s Fall Mentorship Program led by  Shara Goldfarb and Theresa Ombres is well underway. The mentorship session has taken place from February 15, 2025 to June 15, 2025. We encourage new and old members who are looking to gain more collaborative law experience to join as mentees, and our more seasoned collaborative practitioners to join as mentors. We can assure you it will be a rewarding experience. Please be on the lookout for the email blasts with the registration link for the Spring session.

We are looking forward to the NYACP Mentorship Program’s social event on June 18, 2025 at the Ayza Wine and Chocolate Bar, 11 West 31^st Street, New York, New York from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.  This event is both a feedback session for current mentorship program participants, and a wonderful networking opportunity for all current and past mentees and mentors.   To RSVP, please email Shara Goldfarb ([email protected]) and Teresa Ombres ([email protected]), Co-Chairs of the Mentorship Program.

Buddy Program - Rachel Green, Esq. will be heading up the NYACP Buddy Program. Many of us will envy the new members of NYACP, when we learn about the buddy program. Some forward thinking (perhaps idealistic) members of the Board of Director noticed that new members could come into our group and feel like outsiders.  Some of us have been doing this work for decades, and have had cases with many others, and we gravitate toward the familiar, at NYACP events.  

However, we want (and need) to have new members join and stay in our organization, to continue to do the good work we are doing with the support and guidance we get from NYACP. For that reason, we have implemented a buddy program. When someone’s application is approved by Membership, they will get an email telling them they have been matched with a Board Member, who will then send an email personally welcoming them to the NYACP, and letting them know that we are available to answer any questions they may have about NYACP’s member benefits and collaborative practice.  The Board member will offer to schedule a Zoom meeting for them to meet virtually be welcoming, and to learn how to navigate the NYACP website and explain all of the membership benefits.  We want new members to feel welcomed, and have support and resources from the NYACP so that they can hit the ground running.

NYACP Collaborative Connection Lunches

If you are a collaborative professional looking to expand your connections with your collaborative colleagues, join us for our bi-monthly meet ups for lunch, coffee, or drinks after work. The NYACP Membership Committee is launching gatherings in Westchester, Long Island and Manhattan to offer an easy way to get to know your collaborative counterparts better with a simple RSVP. These small group (eight person) meet ups will offer a wonderful opportunity to connect with collaborative colleagues you might not already know, share experiences and insights, and learn more about one another both personally and professionally. Invitations are sent out by the office for each scheduled meet up, and the first eight NYACP members to register will reserve a spot for the next meet up at a designated time and location. These meet ups offer a great chance to build up you professional and personal network and to find support and encouragement in helping families who have chosen the collaborative process. Don’t miss this opportunity to connect with your peers and get more involved in the NYACP.

NYACP COLLABORATIVE CONNECTIONS LUNCHES - ’24-‘25 SCHEDULE
Dates, times, and locations to be published. Please lookout for announcements and join us. It’s a GREAT WAY to build relationships with your Collaborative Colleagues!

2025
JULY BREAK
AUGUST BREAK

SEPTEMBER - NYC

RACIAL EQUITY COMMITTEE

NYACP's Racial Equity committee is committed to providing resources and opportunities for our members to gain a better understanding of the history and consequences of systemic racism so we can better serve our diverse clientele and work towards a more just and equitable society. Your active participation in this conversation is vitally important, as it will allow us to collectively develop strategies and initiatives to promote racial equity within our organization and beyond.

The Committee has also been busy planning an innovative and interactive in-person workshop to take place this fall, so look out for more information about that later this summer.  Also look out for the registration link for the first meeting of the Racial Equity Media Club, which will take place on September 18th, 2025 where we will be discussing the book Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi.

RECENT EVENTS

COLLABORATIVE CONNECTIONS LUNCH FOR WESTERN LI- MARCH 26, 2025

ADVANCED SKILLS TRAINING- April 30^th, 2025

The Training and Education Committee recently facilitated the second in a series of programs intended to provide an opportunity to join with your collaborative colleagues, follow a pseudo case, and discuss best practices. It was a wonderful evening of networking, brainstorming, and learning together. Tremendous thanks go to the fantastic presenters who portray an Interdisciplinary Collaborative Team moving a couple through the Collaborative Process (this being the 2^nd team Meeting – a follow-up to the first skills training, and 1^st Team meeting). The role play provided a great springboard for conversation about the experiences of each of the participants going through the process, and the necessary strategy, choreography and connection of the team that contribute to successful outcomes. 

Katherine Miller, Esq. a Collaborative Pioneer and Trainer for NYACP contemplated our conversation and wrote about the importance of “framing” at the Collaborative table.

Setting the Frame: A Core Skill for Divorce Professionals

As divorce professionals, we know that what’s said at the table is only part of what drives outcomes. Just as important—if not more so—is the context in which the conversation happens: the emotional tone, the perceived roles, and the underlying assumptions that shape the entire interaction. In other words, the frame. If we don’t intentionally set the frame of each joint meeting, the unspoken frame will drive the meeting, sometimes leaving the professionals wondering what happened.

One of the best descriptions of framing was written by business strategist Oren Klaff in his book Pitch Anything, describing it as the lens through which a negotiation is understood. The person who sets the dominant frame—intentionally or not—controls the direction of the conversation.

In our Collaborative work, we see how powerful that dynamic can be. A client who shows up with a defensive or adversarial frame can shift the energy of the entire room—sometimes despite everyone’s best intentions. But when we, as professionals, consciously set the frame at the start of a meeting, we help create the container for respectful, forward-moving dialogue.

Framing the Conversation

Framing isn’t about controlling the content. It’s about shaping how that content is held. When we begin a joint meeting with a statement like, “We’re here to make thoughtful decisions that reflect both parties’ values,” we’re doing more than setting a tone—we’re setting expectations for how we will engage with one another.

The Collaborative model inherently offers a powerful frame: one grounded in respect, transparency, and shared commitment to resolving conflict without court. But we can’t assume that the model speaks for itself. We need to give voice to that frame at the outset—and revisit it when the conversation starts to drift.

Framing also gives clients something to lean on emotionally. It helps them stay anchored when things get hard. And for us, it provides a point of return when conversations become reactive or positional: “Let’s come back to our shared intention here.”

Structuring the Process: The Frame for the Frame

Just as important as setting the emotional frame is the structure that supports it. When we take time at the beginning of the process to design how we will work together—who’s involved, how meetings will be run, what our communication norms are—we’re giving the frame a foundation.

Structuring the process can include:

· Clarifying roles and expectations within the team

· Agreeing on an agenda and pacing for meetings

· Establishing communication guidelines (e.g., no interrupting, checking in when emotions escalate)

· Naming how conflict will be addressed if it arises

· Setting shared commitments around transparency and decision-making

When process structure is unclear, it’s easy for clients to default to familiar patterns—often adversarial ones. But when the process is thoughtfully designed and consistently upheld, it reinforces the frame and increases everyone’s sense of safety and agency.

Holding the Frame Together

Setting the frame isn’t a one-time task. It’s something we return to, refine, and sometimes need to reassert. In Collaborative Divorce, we hold the frame together—across disciplines and across moments of tension.

That might mean a coach gently noticing when a client’s fear is starting to take over. Or a lawyer reminding the group of the commitment to work toward a shared goal. Or a financial neutral helping to reframe a budget conversation as a values-based decision, not a zero-sum game.

This shared responsibility is what makes the Collaborative model so unique—and so effective when we’re intentional about it.

Our Role in the Room

As Collaborative professionals, our presence does more than guide process—it helps shape the emotional field of the room. When we consciously set and hold the frame, we’re modeling calm, clarity, and possibility. That doesn’t mean we’re immune to tension or surprise; it means we’re aware of how we respond and how our own frame influences others.

Framing is part of how we carry our role—not just what we say, but how we ground the conversation, especially when clients become reactive or overwhelmed. In those moments, the ability to gently reassert the shared purpose, reflect emotional undercurrents, or simply pause to regroup can be a powerful reset. It’s in these choices that we demonstrate the integrity of the Collaborative process—not just in principle, but in practice.

GRAND CENTRAL SCAVENGER HUNT

On May 8, 2025 -  the NYACP hosted a scavenger hunt at Grand Central Station.  The group was organized into four teams, which had 60 clues to solve over a two-hour period, in and around the station.  Along the way, the groups learned about the history of the station, trivia and many little details that are easy to miss when running to make a train at rush hour. (The clock at the station center was originally designed by the Self Winding Clock Company – who knew?) More important, teams worked together on creative problem solving, and had a great time doing it.  Thanks to the Events Committee, chaired by Michelle Lewis, for planning this great event – especially Ivy Menchel for finding and working with the organizer, Secret City NY.UPCOMING EVENTS - SAVE THE DATES! 

As intended, our T-shirts sparked the curiosity of several patrons in Grand Central. Jackie Caputo had an informative conversation while on line in the ladies room, and Ellen Janko-Baken had the opportunity to respond to an inquiry from three sisters who are very disturbed and worried about their parent’s high conflict divorce. We sent them to our website…

On May 16,2025 – Marcos Fernandez, Esq. and Randy Heller, PhD, hosted by our newest member, Josh Farrar presented to the NYC Mental Health Community via Zoom presented an informational session on Collaborative practice. These participants, who are on the front lines working with individuals and couples who are contemplating or getting divorced, knew nothing about the Collaborative process. This emphasizes how critical it is for us to spread the word. The GCC is planning a networking mixer in the fall for MHPs and our Collaborative Community  Look out for further information.  

May 21, 2025 - Huge THANK YOU to everyone who joined us for our May Mental Health Awareness Month event on Divorce and Transitional Well-Being. Your presence helped elevate the conversation around healing, growth, and the powerful intersection of financial clarity, mental health, and non-adversarial divorce. - Dr. Randy Heller facilitated an insightful and educational conversation with Michael Kislin about  the potential safeguards and benefits for families well-being when choosing Alternative Dispute. The presentation sparked meaningful dialogue and gave participants tools to better serve our clients and grow as professionals. We're especially grateful for the engaged audience, whose thoughtful questions and energy helped amplify the importance of collaborative mediation and the essential role of mental health professionals. Michael, in his role at Morgan Stanley as a Financial Advisor, believe the financial plan is the cornerstone—the fertile soil from which the elements of human well-being can sprout and grow: spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, and social. Michael says “he is honored to be part of this community, and we look forward to serving you and your clients together—now and into the future.” If you missed the event touch base to learn more or for a confidential conversation. - Michael

 HARLEM WALK- JUNE 4, 2025

The Racial Equity Committee gathered for a guided walking tour and meal in Harlem on June 4th with a special gathering for lunch at the renowned Sylvia's Restaurant.  

On June 12, 2025 the NYACP co-hosted a mixer with the Westchester Women’s Bar Association (WWBA) at the Brazen Fox in White Plains. The event was well attended by members of both organizations and other professionals all eager to learn, collaborate and to continue each organizations devoted missions.

For me personally, this was a very special event. When I first moved from Long Island to Westchester I joined the WWBA and was warmly welcomed into my new local legal community. Since then I became a member of the NYACP and have been beyond pleased to work with such tremendous individuals.  During my fifteen plus year career as a matrimonial attorney, both organizations have been instrumental in my professional growth and development.

I thank the members of both organizations for such a positive experience thus far and look forward to more continued success in years to come. 

Andrea B. Friedman, Esq.

UPCOMING EVENTS - SAVE THE DATES

NYACP- Racial Equity Committee – Jessica Rothberg, Esq.

The Racial Equity Committee has been busy planning an innovative and interactive in-person workshop to take place this fall, so look out for more information about that later this summer.  Also look out for the registration link for the first meeting of the Racial Equity Media Club, which will take place on September 18th, 2025 where we will be discussing the book Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi.

NYACP 25th ANNIVERSARY GALA 

DECEMBER 4, 2025- Join us to honor our past presidents and founders! Sponsorship Opportunities coming soon!

UPCOMING TRAININGS

See the NYACP website for additional information on upcoming Interdisciplinary Collaborative Trainings.

If you know of any Law, or Graduate students in Mental Health or Business who show an interest in Collaborative Practice process who want to be trained, and ultimately add to our next generation of professional members of our organization, the Kevin Scudder Higher Education Scholarship Fund in place to financially support their training. Please send inquiries to Randy Heller at [email protected]